Welcome to B.S. on Sex's Blog Page. Be sure to visit the page often for updates on prior shows, special blog posts from your hosts, and a variety of other helpful information in making sure you read the fine print and find the "B.S."
Tonight's episode of "B.S. on Sex: Volume II" analyzed the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. For those of you who are not aware of this book, where have you been? Well, if you’ve been missing the trend, here’s your spoiler. Fifty Shades of Grey is an erotic novel by British author E. L. James, released in 2011. Set largely in Seattle, it is the first installment in a trilogy that traces the relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. The second and third installments are Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, respectively. The series has sold around 20 million copies worldwide, and set the record as the fastest-selling paperback of all time, surpassing the Harry Potter series. Critical reception of the novel has been mixed, and so were the reactions of your hosts.
On the show tonight, Bryan Babcock gave a few tips on how to incorporate the BDSM lifestyle into an everyday couple's sexual activities. As promised, the list of those ways are below for your enjoyment, incorporation, and your comment. Be sure to remember that BDSM is more than just about kink. Some tips are ways to ease yourself into the role you will eventually play in full. If you can't commit fully to BDSM, these tips also serve to make your sex life kinkier, exploratory, and more trustworthy which is the foundation of BDSM.
1. Put a handcuff key in an ice cube. You can handcuff your lover and rub the ice cube all over their body. The sensation is pleasurable and a bit tortuous as he/she has to withstand the tease until the ice fully melts releasing the key.
2. Do not be afraid to bite. Biting is the most common way to mix pain and pleasure. Have fun with where you bite, and the amount of pressure you put to the bite.
3. Domination is as simple as not being allowed to touch your partner. Have you ever wanted him/her so bad during foreplay that you just have to have him/her? Try not having each other for a few minutes and see how much it drives you crazy.
4. Candle wax dripping onto your body followed by a cooling ice cube.
5. Costumes are great for getting into the dominant/submissive roles. Choose costumes that reflect a dominant/submissive role (e.g., cop/criminal, principal/student, landlord/tenant, James Bond/every woman he meets).
6. Wrestle with each other, and don’t be afraid of the pain in being pinned too hard.
7. If you like to be on top, be on the bottom once.
8. If you like to be on the bottom, get on top and do all the things on top that were done to you.
9. A light paddling never hurt anyone who didn’t want it to.
10. Have you ever been taken from behind? Try it.
11. Blindfold your partners … trust is the key to a BDSM relationship.
12. Schedule a day to do whatever he/she wants to do with you whether you like doing it or not. It is his/her pleasure that matters and you need to enjoy pleasing him/her, and feel pleasure from pleasing someone else.
13. Play a game: pick a body part to own for the day. At any random moment, text, email or phone a command to do with that body part (i.e., “Your fingers belong to me today. Touch your inner thighs with MY fingers right now.”)
14. Remote control vibrators are good too. Anytime, anywhere.
15. Give a good child-punishing spanking to your lover (so there’s an intentional pain act here) while telling your lover how much you want him/her after it’s over, and how desirable they are. This is how you associate pain with the later pleasure so that the two start to blend.
16. If you start BDSM play, have a safeword before beginning. “No” should not be the word.
17. Make an ice dildo. (Google it)
18. Urination is a form of BDSM play.
19. Men: don’t be afraid to experiment with “pegging.”(Google it)
20. Buy a Saint Andrew’s Cross and begin with some retrained cunnilingus or fellatio (the receiver should be strapped in).
21. Buy a Zentai suit. (Google it)
22. Try some animal role play: “You be the dog and come get this bone.”
23. Find a BDSM party, attend, and learn.
24. For those that could one day be into fisting, buy dildos over time in increasingly larger sizes to slowly work your openings to accommodate something like a fist. If you work slowly, you can maintain muscle tightness when it’s all over.
25. Be open to anal sex. It’s gonna hurt; it’s gonna hurt.
26. Look up a professional dominatrix or dominant for a private session.
27. Find a costume that reflects what you want in the BDSM relationship. The costume can psychologically put you in the mood to stretch your limits.
28. STRECTH YOUR LIMITS!
29. Realize that there is no normal other than what you want to do.
30. Do not try BDSM with a stranger. BDSM is about trust.
31. Drugs are not necessary for this lifestyle, so don’t use them.
32. Whatever you want to do in BDSM, make sure it’s hygienic.
33. Silk scarves can be very binding, painful, soft to the touch, and yet don’t leave a mark.
34. Make her have sex with the lights on; she doesn’t have a choice
35. Hair should be pulled whenever you don’t move where I tell you to.
36. Men: take a day off from your orgasms. Spend an entire day making her have orgasm after orgasm as the day goes on, and not once are you allowed get off. The repetition for her will drive her crazy with pleasure, and you with frustration. The next morning take her any way you like until you’re done and both of you will skip to work.
37. Watch him masturbate, standing up straight, and tell him how to do it your way (that means you’re gonna have to think about how his masturbation will turn you on). Punish him (very lightly whip once) when he does it wrong.
38. Watch her masturbate, standing up straight, and tell her how to do it your way (and if it involves certain toys even better). Punish her (dealer’s choice) when she does it wrong.
39. Foot worship (Google it)
40. Try a butt plug … just try it, come on.
41. Try a cock leash … lead him all around the house and make him earn his pleasure with work.
42. Face slapping … at your own risk.
43. Try a game of speaking only when spoken to … “Yes mistress” or “Yes sir”
44. Orgasm restrictions: 1) only as a reward; 2) no orgasm at all; 3) nonstop pleasure
45. Double penetration scenes (doesn’t have to be a threesome just a dildo added to the mix).
46. Piercings (if you’re into them).
47. Forceful penetration (oral, anal, vaginal) with minimal lubrication.
48. Starvation and dehydration are not BDSM … it’s murder.
49. Visit Fetlife.com for more information on the BDSM community and get some tips on how to do more in your sex life.
50. Listen to B.S. on Sex … any volume … any time …for the sex tips your parents never wanted to discuss with you.
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